My Initiation into "Foster Motherhood"

Who remembers playing this game?  It pretty much sums up my weekend with "N", my first respite placement.  A series of ladders where I felt successful and that I could handle anything...and then a chute when I least expected it to knock me back down.

Ladders included "N" adoring her bedroom and bathroom.  We spent the weekend giggling through board games (like Chutes and Ladders), coordinating Barbie outfits, splashing in the pool, and creating roads made out of chalk for Matchbox car racing.

Then in the midst of all the fun, the chutes hit full force.  Vomit...vomit everywhere!  I'm not ashamed to admit that when the projectile happened that I cried.  I cried about the new couch, carpet, and amazingly cute bathroom that were destroyed.  I cried about the fact that my idea for a "perfect" weekend had been ruined.  Then the tantrums, medication trials, and special needs piled on.  I cried thinking that maybe I couldn't handle this parenting thing after all.  Maybe I wasn't cut out for this.

Once Dad arrived and came to the rescue, he showed me that couches, floors, and shower curtains can be washed.  He sat me down, wiped my tears, and shared stories of his first experiences as a parent.  My parents and family are such wonderful gifts for me. I realized with help from him, that my need for perfection has no place in this new adventure. I'm proud to report that by the end of our weekend together, I was once again laughing and enjoying the "ladders" with little Miss "N".  I even managed to keep smiling when the vomit hit again Sunday morning.

While it was an interesting weekend, I am incredibly thankful for the time I had with this little sweetheart.  When I got the call asking if I would take her, I instantly felt a sense of contentment that I've been yearning for since I moved back to Derby.  The last year has been a lonely one, but I feel like this foster thing might just bring me joy.  The rose colored glasses have been removed now though...I won't be expecting rainbows and sunshine all the time.  Satan is going to do all he can to show me the challenges (chutes).  I need to rely on God to provide the ladders, help through the chutes, and rest in those truths.

Feel free to ask anymore questions about this adventure.  Thank you so much for your continued prayers.